Your Arms Hold What I Held
by silvrwish111
Summary: Bella does whatever she has to do to keep Jacob near and realizes how much he means to her. But when Edward comes back, can she let him go? Or will her addiction to him ruin things with Jacob? J/B
1. Good Clean Fun

**A/N This story starts the morning she was going to jump off of the cliff in New Moon. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or the characters. It's all Stephenie Meyer's.**

Chapter 1 Good Clean Fun

BPOV

"Aw Jake, really?"

I just pulled up to Jacob's house with my extra clothes, ready to jump off the tallest cliff I could find, or at least the tallest he would let me. We were standing in the rain, as I refused to go inside expecting to be leaving for the cliffs as soon as I got there.

"Sorry, Bella. Have you seen the sky today? Bad weather's coming, worse than usual. The water'll be too choppy to go near."

My eyebrows pulled together in thought. I'd been so wrapped up in getting another message from _him_ that I barely remembered driving here. I looked up, getting my face hit with raindrops. The skies were it's usually drab gray, but today it look darker and somewhat gloomier than usually. I didn't care. I had to jump today. I had to do something drastic. I had to hear _his_ voice. It's been too long since I heard that perfect sound. We could still jump. Jake knew how to swim… He wouldn't let anything happen to me.

"Come on. You can swim better than anyone I know. You practically live on the beach. And you're so strong." I said as I put my hands on his huge biceps, attempting to persuade him with my feminine charm, or lack thereof. Maybe he would take pity on me and go with it. "I trust you to keep my head above water." In more way than one… Without him I don't know where I would be right now. I would probably still be an emotionless mess if I hadn't found those bikes and brought us together. Although I would've probably found another excuse. I always liked spending time with him, even as a little girl.

He laughed. "I'm not going to let you. Flattery will get you everywhere, just not in dangerous water. Even if I was right next to you the whole time I know you would get yourself in the hospital again."

"Hey!" I said rather loudly, offended that he would think I would get myself hurt. No matter what the situation.

He put his hands up. "I'm not saying no to cliff diving, just no for today."

I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to back down. "Then what do you want to do?"

"Oh sweet Bella, never ask a guy that." He looked at me with a devilish smirk on his perfect face.

I glared back at my determined friend. Holy crow this boy never gives up. _I hope he never does._ I shook my head, getting that ridiculous thought to disappear. I was so lonely I was beyond delusional now. I smacked him, knowing I wouldn't do any damage to his strong body but I tried anyway. Being defenseless was starting to get more than annoying, especially with Victoria still around.

My face dropped, thinking about my certain demise. She was back and I knew that nothing, absolutely nothing would stop her from finding me.

Thankfully, he cut off my thoughts. "Are you ok?" he asked while putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, his faced etched with worry.

"Yeah, yeah. My mind wanders sometimes, well constantly. It's just with Victoria coming back…" I tried to sound nonchalant, but failed.

He barked out a laugh. "Do you know how many wolves you got on your side? I'd like to see that leech try to get past us." He said as he put his arm around my shoulders. I rolled my eyes, hoping when something happens, his cockiness wouldn't get him hurt. "Now can we get out of the rain? Or do you still want to rebel out here against the weather?" He said, walking away. "Because I'm going with or without you."

I stayed where I was, trying to catch his bluff. Just as I thought, he barely got ten feet away before he playfully growled and turned around. "What is it this time, Bella?"

"I still want to jump."

He walked back towards me and grabbed my hand as he dragged me to his shed. "We can still have fun today, and not get killed in the process. I know, it's probably a strange concept for you."

Maybe he was right. It's not like I wanted to hurt myself. "Fine." I said giving in.

"Now…" I said slowly as I sat down on my sad looking chair, making sure I phrased everything correctly, "what good clean fun can we participate in?" I grinned innocently at him.

He stifled a laugh and tried to stay serious, sitting next to me. "Well, I think all my ideas are out the window. Oh, we could go to my bedroom and…" I slapped him, again. He shrugged. "Alright, I got nothing."

"Well I guess I'll be going." I joked, standing up. I took one step forward before I felt my frozen hand warm up immensely as Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled me on his lap.

"You're not leaving me that easily." He wrapped his arms around my tiny frame. I was about to push him away when I realized just how cold I was. Even with my heavy jacket, somehow I was still soaked. Maybe I should have made my demands out of the rain. "You're shivering," he stated as he pulled me tighter to his body, rubbing my arm with his hands.

"You're like my own personal heater." I said, already warming up more than I thought possible in such a short time. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but he was so warm…

He grinned down at me. "Thank you?"

"But I… I'm not sure if this is considered good clean fun."

"Really? Well as long as we're…"

"Jacob!" Billy yelled from the house. I jumped and pushed myself out his arms too quickly. I almost fell, but luckily Jacob caught me and steadied me. "Sam's on the phone."

"Damn it. Are you ok?" He asked, looking down at me.

"Yeah."

"I'll be back."

"…ok." I said, even though he was already in the house.

I stood in the same spot, still not moving. Why am I doing this to him? I really need to stop leading him on. I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn't sit on his lap. We're just friends, and friends don't do that. He wouldn't be doing it with Quil. I giggled at the mental picture.

"What's so funny?" I jumped as he approached me from the house.

"No noth… I was… Nothing." _Calm down._ "Wh-what did Sam want?"

He gave me a strange look. "They found a new trail deep in the woods. We're all going over there to see if it leads anywhere."

"Oh. Ok. Just… just be careful ok?" I was always nervous for him. I hated that they were putting themselves in danger for me. If anything happened to him…

"You worry to much Bella." He kissed me on the forehead. "I'll see you later?"

I shook my head. "Yeah. Ok… I'll be at the beach."

He smiled at me and then ran into the woods.

I poked my head in the back door. "Hey, Billy. I'll be at the beach today."

"Are you sure? The weather's getting worse."

"Yeah I know. I can tolerate the rain. Bye." I said shutting the door.

I slowly walked to my car in a daze, a little disappointed that Jake had to leave. I thought we would spend the whole day together. If he never got that call I'm not sure what he would have attempted to do. The next time he does something, I knew I would have to remind him how nothing can happen between us. But I knew I would avoid that conversation. The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt him.

I wrapped my arm around my stomach as I drove to the beach. As I felt my wounds open more, I knew I couldn't completely blame him. Being with him made my pain almost bearable.


	2. Something To Believe In

Chapter 2 Something to Believe In

I sat in bed, unable to sleep. I was worrying about Jacob.

I spent most of my time in La Push. I knew I didn't want to lead Victoria anywhere else. I just wish Jake was with me more often. I knew he and his brothers were protecting everyone from blood thirsty vampires, but that just made me need him more. I needed to know he was safe.

But I knew there was nothing wrong. Nothing could go wrong. He had to be safe and sound. A small part of me hoped the pack wouldn't run into Victoria, even though that meant I would still be in danger.

Why did _he _leave? I should be in _his_ arms, protected from the world and able to get a decent night sleep. At least my nightmares haven't been bothering me as much. I haven't woke up screaming in so long, which is relieving and scary at the same time. I don't want to feel that pain, but without the constant discomfort I was moving on. I still wasn't ready to let him go. I had to jump soon, just to hold on a little longer.

I heard a knock at my window. My heart started racing… Victoria. I jumped up, looking for a weapon. _She __wouldn__'__t __knock_, I realized. I wouldn't see it coming if it was her. With all the imaginary creatures walking in and out of my life I need to have a weapon if this kind of situation did become a reality. I started taking deep breaths. _Get __a __grip._

I ran to the window, maybe it was a certain other vampire. I threw back the curtains and saw shirtless Jacob waiting to be let in. I opened the window, slightly disappointed. "Hey, Jake. Why are you here at," I looked back at the clock, surprised at how late it was, "one in the morning?"

"Why are you awake? Isn't it past your bedtime?"

I grinned. "So you came here planning to wake me up? It better be important." My thoughts took a turned for the worse. "Did something happen? Did someone get hurt?" I couldn't live with myself if…

"Stop your worrying." He said as he put his hand on my shoulder. "After we did our regular patrol I came to watch over the woods around your house, and then I saw your light on."

I wonder how many how many times he came over to check on me at night. I felt a little safer knowing he was watching over me. "When do you ever sleep? You're doing so much keeping her away from the city, I don't want to be another burden. Please go get some rest." Despite what I forced myself to say, I silently begged him to continue being my own protector and to keep away the wicked.

"Don't you get it? We're after Victoria to keep her away from you. It's all about protecting you, Bells. Knowing your alive and well is worth losing a little sleep."

I smiled. He's being so selfless, it almost made me feel guilty for being the exact opposite. But as soon as my conscience attempted to make me feel any shame, I remembered how much I needed him for my sanity to stay intact.

"Thank you so much, but I need you to get a decent night sleep. It must take a lot out of you to be doing all of this. Please go home and sleep for the rest of the night. For me."

"Sure, sure."

"Seriously, Jacob. I worry about you."

"I'll head straight home, ok?"

"Thank you." I said, hugging him. "I can't tell you how grateful I am for all of this."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I won't stop, Bella. Not until your safe."

I started to thank him again, but before I knew it, he was out the window.

I turned off the lights. I smiled as I laid myself in bed. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, thinking how I've never felt safer.


	3. Blue

Chapter 3 Blue

Jacob and I had a good routine going. Every night he was outside in the forest behind my house, watching over me as I slept. The next morning I would be over at his house and waited for him to wake up. I usually watched more Oprah and Ellen than I ever wanted, so sometimes I went to the beach and he joined me later.

But not today. Because today is the day I would finally be able to cliff dive.

It's been almost a week since I demanded we do this, and spring break was over tomorrow. Nothing could stop me from jumping now, not even mother nature. I didn't care if the sky was falling! Jacob will be taking me or I'll go without him. Well, at least I'll threaten that. It was critical for someone to make sure I don't drown and Jacob will not let that happen.

"Bye, Charlie!" I yelled as I ran past the kitchen and out of the house, my change of clothes already in the truck. The weather was not as bad as usual, only slightly drizzling. Perfect.

I drove over to Jake's and for the first time I was truly upset about my truck's lack of acceleration.

I finally got to his house. I jammed my truck into park and ran towards the house. I was so used to Jacob running outside to meet me it took me a few seconds to remember I had to knock on the door.

Billy answered the door and let me in. "Hello, Bella."

"Hi. Is Jake still sleeping?" I asked, not needing Billy to answer. As soon as the words were out of my mouth a loud noise that I'm not sure how to describe, like a combined cough, snort, and grunt, came from the hallway. My head whipped towards the noise and my eyes went wide in shock. How does Jake sleep with that constant noise?

Billy snorted at my reaction. "Yeah, he was out most of the night. You can go wake him. It's about time he get up."

I wanted so badly to wake him, but I just couldn't knowing everything he's been doing for me. "No, no rush. I'll let him get more sleep."

"Well, make yourself at home."

I sat down on the couch. "Thanks."

I begged mother nature to keep the weather calm throughout the day. I wasn't sure how much longer I was willing to wait until I drove out to a cliff myself, but I'm sure a few more hours wouldn't be too distressing.

The local news and two talk shows later, Jacob finally stopped his impossibly loud snoring.

He came out of the room with his hair going in every direction. "Hey, Bells." He said, clearly still not fully awake with his sleepy voice and half open eyes.

No time for politeness now. I've been waiting for too long. "Hey. You ready yet?" I glanced at him, eyebrows raised, trying not to grin at his adorably clouded eyes.

He looked at his pajama pants and wife beater, then looked at me and grinned. "Alright. I'll be ready soon." He said walking to the bathroom.

"Thank you, Jacob!" I yelled after him.

In less time than I thought humanly possible he was out and ready to go.

"Quick enough for ya?" He asked me, pulling me up from the couch and guiding me outside.

"Yeah. Is that another one of your… powers? Super speed?" I asked him, only half joking.

"No, that's all me. I'm that good. And it helps that guys don't take an hour to do our hair."

"That's because you didn't do anything to your hair!" He really didn't do a thing. It was still the same messy bed head.

He smirked. "And I still look good." I giggled at him. I wasn't gonna disagree. He looked kind of beautiful, as usual. "Let me drive. I know exactly what cliff we should go to."

I threw him my keys. "Great. I can't believe this is finally happening."

"Believe it." He opened the door for me. I hopped in.

He got in and started the engine. It roared to life. "You still want to jump? You look panicky." He asked as we drove away from his house, reaching over and taking my hand.

The butterflies in my stomach seemed to multiply every second we got closer. It had to be from excitement, I told myself. "I've been waiting so long to do this. We are going to do this."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself." I glared at him. He might not be completely wrong, but I tried not to let it show. So what if I was having second thoughts? Any sane person would. But in the back of my mind was a constant reminder that I had to do this.

Then the truck came to a stop. He let go of my hand temporarily to go around and open my door. He helped me out and we both walked towards the cliff's edge, I was looking at my feet the whole time.

This is it. This is the moment. We're actually on the cliff.

I looked up at Jacob. I had to focus on something, anything but what was a few feet ahead of me. _What __happened __to __brave __Bella?_ I asked myself. _Get __it __together!_

He was looking out at the freezing dangerous water. How could he be so calm looking at the water we were about to plunge into? "The water's perfect, Bells." He turned to me and laughed at my terrified face. "And we're on the lowest cliff. You can look." I nodded, but didn't turn my head at all. "We really don't have to do this, Bella."

"No, no. I need this." My eyes glazed over. I needed to hear _him._ This was the only way I would hear _him_. So why wasn't _he_ trying to talk me out of it?

"You should look at…"

"I will." I snapped at him. I forced myself to glance down. It wasn't bad. Actually, the gorgeous blue water looks inviting. The calming waves called out to me. I knew I could do this now. I will do this. I took a small step forward towards the edge.

_Let __me __hear __you __one __more __time_, I silently begged, _please_. My stomach felt like it was slowly ripping apart again, after what little healing I did in the past months. Was _he_ completely gone? _He_ took everything, my heart, my sanity, and all proof that _he_ existed. Now I can't hold on to the one thing I had left? All that I have is fading memories, all that I can do is dream of his face as it slowly gets blurry after time. Damn this inconsistent human memory. That is not enough. I need more. I need something.

I took another step.

_I'm going to jump. Now… _

_Where are you?_

"You ready to jump?" Jacob asked me as softly as his rough voice could, probably afraid I would snap at him again. I looked up at him, panic in my eyes.

"Yes! Let's jump right now! I'm ready!" I almost screamed, trying to get _his_ attention. _WHERE __THE __HELL __ARE __YOU?_

I think Jake took my bizarre behavior as excitement and smiled. "Awesome. Let's do this!" He yelled back and gave my hand a squeeze. I held his hand with all my strength, the warmth somewhat comforting me.

_I'm about to jump. I'm going to jump. Right now._

"On the count of three, WE ARE GOING TO JUMP!" I cried out to _him_, grasping my stomach.

_You have to stop me._

"One…" Jacob yelled to the sky.

_Please stop me, Edward._

"Two…" we both screamed.

_In one second, I'm gone._

"Three!" We leapt off the cliff. Nothing.

_You're gone._

I screamed in agony all the way down.


	4. My Arms Release My Body

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. **

Chapter 4 My Arms Release My Body

I couldn't register any feeling but pain as I hit the frozen water.

Almost automatically I realized I hadn't taken a breath. The cold water did not help me battle the urge to take in the breath that my body begged for. I pursed my lips and tried to ignore not only my screaming lungs, but also the lump in my throat.

The water might have been smooth on he surface, but underneath was completely different. I didn't understand how rough the undercurrents really were until they were pulling me down, even though I was swimming towards the surface.

I started to panic, which forced me to take in a small breath and made water fill my throat. Luckily Jacob hadn't let go of my hand. He pulled me up against the current. It felt like minutes, but it only took seconds for him to drag me up.

"Bella! Oh, Bella!" Jacob sighed in relief, as I half coughed, half sobbed up all the water, tears in my eyes. "You're ok now, Bella. It's fine." He said as he pulled me into his arms, dragging us towards the shore.

I would finally have to let _him_ go. _He_ truly was gone completely out of my life. There was nothing left. Nothing to hold onto. But it felt like _he_ was walking away from me all over again.

My uncontrollable sobs were still making it hard to breath. I wasn't getting enough oxygen. I was feeling lightheaded. I would collapse if Jacob wasn't holding me securely to his body as we walked on the beach. He gently sat us down, making sure I was still completely wrapped in his arms.

Then I felt Jake's arms stiffen around me. He pulled back and looked at me. His face was contorted in confusion. "What did you say?"

And then I heard myself cry the same mantra from so long ago.

"He's gone."

I don't know where I would be without Jacob.

He held me. I have no idea how long I cried, but he held me the whole time, with no questions asked. Now that I felt calm I was waiting for some sort of response to the way I had acted.

"What happened, Bella?" And there it was. Jacob finally broke the silence.

What could I tell him? I was crying hysterically because I was no longer talking to my ex in my head? After months, I now realized that _he_ was actually gone? I tried to avoid answering. "What exactly do you mean?"

He sighed. "You said the same thing that you did when Sam found you."

I didn't know what to say, what I could say to make him understand. So I tried keep my temporary insanity to myself. "I think I finally realized he's really gone." I felt my already sore throat hurt even more as I fought off new tears.

"What?" He stared at me in shock. "The bloodsuckers physically leaving didn't clue you in?"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I know that." I snapped at him. "I mean I… I think I finally have to move on."

He stood up and started to walk towards the forest, muttering, "I can't do this…"

I ran after him and grabbed his arm with both hands. "Jacob, wait…" He spun around to face me, trepidation written on his face.

"Bella, you just don't get it. I can't do this." He closed his eyes. "I can't stand to see you hurt this much. I thought this was over. You were doing so good. We were awesome."

"Please, Jacob. Just give me time. I… I'm trying! I'm really trying to get over everything!" Well I was now. "You know how hard it's been for me, and if you break your promise, Jacob Black, I swear…" I stopped before I let my threatening words slip through my mouth. Jacob would not leave me. I wouldn't let Jacob hurt me like _he_ did. I would just absolutely break into a million, irreparable pieces. My hands were trembling slightly as my breathing was becoming more and more irregular. _Calm __down. __Jacob __won__'__t __do __anything. __He_ _keeps __his __promises._

"I won't hurt you, but you keep breaking and it's hard to sit back and watch. Tell me what to do!" His deep brown eyes stared into mine like he was searching for an answer. "I can't stand here and let you be broken, but I can't fix you."

"But you are fixing me. Everyday you're here for me, I get a little better and I…"

"Then what happened? I never left you and you still go right back to where you started." He said sadly. He actually looked like someone punched him in the gut. I knew he cared for me, but did he care this much that it literally hurt him to see me hurt?

We were both quiet, all except for my shallow breathing. I couldn't tell him the truth. He would think I was absolutely insane. I didn't know what else to say to convince him. I needed him. It scared me to think he might actually walk away.

My Jacob. He cared for me, apparently more than I thought, and definitely more than I deserved. He couldn't abandon me. I knew what to do, I did the only thing that would stop him from ever leaving my side.

I reached up and kissed him so quickly it lasted less than a second. I pulled back. What was I doing? "I'm sor…"

Before I knew what was happening, he picked me up in his muscular arms and kissed me. He kissed me with such urgency and passion, I didn't know he had it in him. It took my breath away, or maybe it was his bear hug, either way, I kissed him back. With everything I had in me.

He was so warm, so different from all the cold that my life has consisted of. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer against me. I felt better in this moment than I have since that fateful day. It felt as if Jacob was making me whole again. His arms held me so tight that I knew I wouldn't fall apart. I could take a break. He would make sure I wouldn't collapse in on myself. It was as if his unbearable heat had cauterized my wounds. It felt perfect.

Unfortunately I needed to take a breath at some point. I pushed his chest with all my strength, but I still didn't move him a bit. He pulled back reluctantly, realizing what I was attempting to do.

"Air." I choked out with my one last breath. My lungs hurt more than they ever had, but I didn't care.

"Oh," he chuckled and a deep sound came from his huge, toned chest. Holy crow he has changed a lot in these past few months. He loosened his grip, but didn't let go of my waist. "Sorry, Bells. You shouldn't surprise a man like that."

"What man?" I asked, giggling as I gasped for breath.

He reached down and giving me a short and sweet peck on the lips. "Well I'm older than you, and I think I have reached forty by now."

We both laughed. And that moment, to my surprise, I realized I cared about Jacob Black more than I thought.


	5. Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 5 Don't Let Me Fall

I couldn't sleep that night. I kept the light on, a hint for Jacob to come visit me. For all the times his presence let me get decent sleep, it was strange that he was the reason I stayed awake. Maybe I was staying up just so I could see him again.

Jacob came sooner than I thought. It was barely 10:30. He probably wanted to see me as much as I did him.

I opened the window seconds after he knocked. He jumped in like it took no effort at all. It made me feel beyond awkward that the men in my life were so beautifully graceful. Did I just call Jacob a man? Well, he certainly looked like one, and kissed like one.

Immediately after he landed he picked me up and crushed me to his body. I squeaked in surprise, preparing myself to be smothered. But I could still breathe. Well at least my lungs could work. My breathing wasn't completely even, especially since I could feel his breath on my neck. This hug was more gentle, less desperate as his others like he knew I wasn't going anywhere and he didn't have to force me to stay in his arms. And yet it still had the same intensity, the same unrelenting warmth and safety that I always felt in his embrace.

"Hi." I whispered in his ear.

He kissed my neck. "Hello." I shuddered and my heart started beating slightly faster. His warm lips made their way to mine, capturing them in a mind blowing kiss for the second time today. Our lips moved together perfectly. There was no caution to the way he was with me. I could get lost in this moment and not worry about being eaten.

I smiled and tried to restrain my laughs, but I failed and he pulled back breaking the kiss and set me on my feet. I was kissing a wolf and had not worried about becoming a meal?

Oh the irony.

"Something funny?" He glared at me with his lips turned up in a tiny grin.

I tried to hide my uneven breathing. "You're… you are sort of a wolf… Right?"

I could tell he was confused. "You could say that."

"Well then I've just kissed a wolf. Isn't that… Is that considered bestiality?" I joked, but I was still curious as to what the rules were when it came to this.

He started laughing so hard I was afraid it would wake up Charlie. I reached up and put my finger over his mouth. "Shh!"

He calmed down just enough to say against my hand, "It's much better than being a necrophiliac!"

I instantly pulled my hand away from his mouth, surprised by his comment. He laughed for a second until he let what he said sink in. Sometimes he needs to think before he speaks. His face went serious to see how I would react to that.

I was silent, waiting for the pain to come in my stomach. I was still waiting as he hugged me. Even as he whispered an apology in my ear, I waited. And nothing. I didn't feel anything but pleasantly warm and slightly amused by his blunt comment.

I began to laugh hysterically. I laughed so hard I started to snort. I couldn't stop. I was so happy that I could hear that comment and not hurt. I knew if Jake's didn't, my laugh would soon wake Charlie up.

He locked his warm hand around my mouth and looked at me with wide eyes and a lopsided grin on his face. I calmed down after about a minute and Jacob wiped the tears that had run down my face.

"That was the last reaction I expected from you."

"Well you're sort of right." I agreed with him and plopped myself down on the edge of my bed. "I sure know how to pick them, huh?" First someone without a heartbeat, and now an animal. At least it was a step up in some ways.

Jacob sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "You picked the right guy this time. That's what matters."

"I'm not so sure." I teased and poked him in the chest. "You're not human half of the time. That's not normal."

"What's so good about being normal?"

I grinned up at him. "Actually, absolutely nothing."

"Even if that mattered, you're stuck with me."

I leaned into him and rested my head on his chest. I liked the sound of that, but that didn't stop my curiosity. "How so?"

"Well I think after today I might be your boyfriend."

Yeah, I guess he was. And I was happy about that. If he asked me this morning, I probably would have laughed in his face. One breakdown and a few kisses later, that was all that I wanted. I needed him to help me move on. A lot had changed in a day.

It wasn't the most romantic gesture, so I had to give him a hard time, but it's just like Jacob to do that. "I don't remember being asked about this."

He gently lifted my chin so I was looking him straight in his dark eyes. "Ok, Bells, how would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I kissed him on the cheek. "I'll think about it."

"But this is also about protecting your honor. Remember how I thought Quil liked you?" I nodded, not sure where he was going with this. "He's hoping you go around doing that to all the wolves you meet."

I sighed. Couldn't today be between only me and Jacob? I hate the lack of privacy that was cursed upon them. Everything we do will be known by his whole pack that same day, but it might be a good thing if Quil didn't hit on me. "Well, Jacob, then I have to accept."

He pulled me on his lap and wrapped me in his arms. "I knew you would. It was only a matter of time before you fell for my charm."

I groaned. "No more falling off anything or for anyone, please."

He laid back on the bed, taking me with him, and pulled me in for another kiss. "Oh, you will fall for me. But I'll catch you."


	6. Ain't No Sunshine

Chapter 6 Ain't No Sunshine

School. I didn't miss it at all. I had to hear what an amazing time everyone had on spring break. Jessica went shopping with evil, I mean Lauren. Angela did everything with Ben. I was so happy seeing them together.

"What did you do, Bella?" Angela asked me kindly.

_I __was __hunted __by __a __vampire._ "I went to that beach a lot. In La Push."

"With Jacob?" Mike asked, with a little resentment in his voice. Jessica glared at him from the opposite end of the table.

It's official. I guess I have to tell them. "Um… yeah. We're sort of going out."

"That's great!" Angela gushed in her quiet voice. I could tell she was very happy that I've finally moved on. "Are you going to take him to prom? You have to come!"

"When is it?" What could I be doing that weekend? I could go out of town, but I used that excuse last year. I'll just use the classic excuse of sudden illness, maybe a little food poisoning.

"Only in two weeks! We have to go dress shopping!"

Can I get sick twice in one month? No, too suspicious. She's waiting for an answer. What else could I say? "Great!" I said, trying to sound excited.

"How about Thursday? We'll go to Port Angeles again. I loved the dress I got there."

"Ok." I smiled. I think she was too excited to see that I didn't really mean it.

What have I gotten myself into?

…

I drove straight to Port Angeles after school. Unfortunately, now I was at the beach. Alone.

This only time I hated being in La Push was when Jacob couldn't be with me. It was so nerve racking just waiting for him to come back to me, the calming waves not helping at all. Billy told me Sam found a vampire scent, I think, that was too close to town. They were so sure that Victoria was near they had no time to rest. They were determined to get her. Now.

And that's how it was today and most likely the rest of this week. Nothing but waiting and watching the waves roll in.

Except there was something out in the water. It almost looked like the reflection of the sun on the black water, but as I looked up in the sky I realized that was impossible. There was nothing but clouds, not a bit of sunlight.

I walked as close to the water as I could without getting wet. I squinted and tried to get a better look, now it looked like fire. On water? That's impossible…

It started coming closer and I saw a flash of white.

Victoria. She knows where I am. And she's going to kill me.

I leapt up and ran into the forest, knowing that Jacob would be somewhere in it. I hoped he was close by.

"Jacob!" I screamed to the trees. It felt a little pointless screaming at the trees, but I knew Jake or one of the pack would hear me.

This was only the second time I saw her, but she still filled me with such fear I could barely think straight. All that I knew is that I need to run as far as possible, only tripping once or twice along the way.

Less than a minute later I saw at least two giant wolves run past me. Jacob. I would have breathed a sigh of relief, but I didn't want to stop running. I was too afraid to. If I stopped she might catch up with me, wolves or no wolves.

I'm so klutzy that in the three seconds it took me to look to the left, I somehow ran into a tree. I tried to start running again, but two arms wrapped around me. I started screaming and punching, not caring who it was. All I knew is that I needed to run.

The figure grabbed my shoulders and held me at arms length. I looked up and saw Jacob's face. "It's Jacob! Bella, it's me!" He yelled over my screams.

My only answer was a huge sob that shook my shoulders. I was so relieved. My whole body was trembling. I felt my knees give out from under me, but Jacob immediately scooped me up in his arms and held me to his bare chest.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and held on as if my life depended on it. In a way, it did. Victoria would have killed me long ago if it wasn't for him.

I breathed in his scent, telling myself he would never let anything happen to me. I didn't even recognize he was running until he stopped and I looked up. We were behind his house, next to his shed.

"Are you alright?" He asked me looking in my eyes.

I sniffled. "I am now." He set me on my feet, but didn't let me go of my waist. "Thank you."

"The last thing you should do is thank me." He said rather sharply. "I'm sorry."

Why was he apologizing? "What? Jake, you saved my life, again!"

"I put your life in danger." He said angrily and walked away from me. "We chased her to the water. I should've known. Should've seen this coming. Damn it!" He yelled, taking out his frustration.

Even though I was still far from calm, I needed to try to be for him. I walked in front of him and put my hands on his chest. "Nothing happened, Jacob."

"This was too freaking close." He put his hands on my cheeks and looked me straight in my eyes. "I'm so sorry. We'll always watch over you now. She won't get this close again." He kissed my forehead. "I will make sure of that."

"I know." I knew he was telling the truth. He would do anything to protect me. But still no matter how hard they tried, I couldn't help but think that she will somehow win in the end. Whether I died or one of the pack, she would succeed. I hoped not, but my stomach twisted in worry for them.

EPOV

"What happened, Alice?"

"I don't know. It's as if her future has… vanished."

"HOW?"

"I don't know Edward. I'm trying."

"Try harder!"

_If you're constantly concerned, why did we leave?_

"Keep your thoughts to yourself."

"It needs to be said, Edward!" _It __was __your __choice __to __leave. __Now __you __need __to __stop __obsessing!_

"If you would do what you're supposed to, there would be no need!"

I heard Jasper hiss behind me, but I ignored it, all my thoughts on Bella. Who knows what trouble she could have gotten into without me there? Why would her future disappear? I need to make sure she hasn't gotten herself killed.

I started running. I wouldn't stop until I see her.


	7. Think Twice

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, just a wish that Bella and Jacob ended up together.**

Chapter 7 Think Twice

I stayed with Jacob for the rest of the day. We went back to his house. We sat on his couch and attempted to relax, which didn't seem like it was working for him. I was worried about them, he was worried about me. Having his arm around me did help a bit. His warmth always has a calming effect on me.

After over an hour of sitting there it was time to go home.

"I'm coming with you." I looked up and was about to say something, but I knew I shouldn't when I saw his face. He was determined to not let me out of his sight, though I knew he would have to sooner or later. But after today, I wanted him to come. His presence might be the only way to get sleep.

I shook my head and we both silently went to my truck.

We got to the house, both of us in our own worlds on the drive over. He met me upstairs after about fifteen minutes of checking around the house. As soon as he came through the window I ran up and gave him a hug. Today was scary, but it would be ok. I hope it will be ok. I had Jacob. He's proven again and again that he'll protect me. They had a plan to protect me.

I didn't want to leave his arms. For now I'm safe. We stayed like that for a while.

"Can you stay with me tonight? I'm still nervous."

"I don't think that will work. My snoring will wake up your father."

Shoot. I forgot about that. He was right. "Oh. That would be bad."

"Don't worry. Someone will be watching over you tonight. I think Sam will be."

"I know."

"But I'll stay until you fall asleep. Come on, you must be tired."

It was only 8:00, but I was tired. "Yeah. I think my adrenaline's wearing off."

We both climbed into bed. I had to kick off my blankets. With Jacob there I didn't need them with Jacob at my side. "I wish you could stay here."

"I know. Me too. Just remember you're safe."

"Thank you." I said looking up at him in his eyes. Our lips were so close they just naturally gravitated towards each other. After only a few minutes into a sweet and gentle kiss, Jacob ended the kiss by turning his head towards the window, sniffing the air.

"What's wrong?"

He heard the panic in my voice and immediately said, "It's not Victoria."

I relaxed a little. "What is it?"

He ignored me and said, "Stay up here. Please?"

"No. Tell me what it is."

"I'm not sure. I just need you to be safe. Stay." He said and went through the window.

I ran to the window and tried to see in the darkness but no luck. I couldn't even see Jacob at all. He was already somewhere in the trees. What could it have been? If not Victoria, what else could have gotten that reaction out of him? Are there other vampires after me? Victoria's not the first so why would she be the last? Maybe it's just another wolf, but why would he make a big deal?

"Jacob?" I said out the window. How could he expect me to sit here and wait? After five agonizing minutes, I had to find out what was happening. If it was something bad, the other wolves would have already come and help him, and he should already be telling me what was happening... If he's not up here, it was something big.

I rushed and grabbed my nearest, hopefully warm clothes on. I grabbed my shoes and hopped down the hall trying to put them on, nearly falling down the stairs in the process.

I grabbed the flashlight and ran out the back door. As soon as I got outside I stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't know which way to go. The outdoor lights were so weak I could barely see the trees.

"Jacob?" I said in my loudest whisper, afraid of Charlie hearing. I started walking towards the trees, slowly realizing how stupid an idea this was. I'm a sitting duck at the moment.

Then I heard something come out of the trees. I shined the light in that direction and it was Jacob and he did not look pleased.

"What are you thinking? Why can't you ever listen to me? Get inside." He said in a demanding voice.

My mind raced. His voice was so urgent. If it was such a serious threat, he would have never left it unattended in the forest. And if it is, then Sam or someone must be out there.

I needed to know. "No. What's out there?" I asked taking a step in that direction. Before I knew what he was doing, Jacob jumped in front of me and growled in the direction he came in.

"Jacob, you can go inside with her." I spun the flashlight to the right on where the voice was and found Embry.

"No."

"Get her inside. She's shivering. We can handle this."

I was utterly confused. "Embry, what is it?"

He looked at me, then Jacob, "Go inside."

Jacob backed away from the forest, looking out into the darkness that contained something. Something bad.

"Please."

Now I was scared. Why would no one tell me? I would just have to go inside and try to get Jacob to talk to me. "You're coming?"

He nodded. I walked inside.


	8. Save Me From This Moment

Chapter 8-Save Me From This Moment

I ran up stairs and tried to wait patiently. Impossible. Luckily it didn't take him long to come upstairs. I was more than relieved. I don't think I could have taken much more of not knowing.

I was staring at him, mid brainstorming. "Not Victoria?"

"No."

"Volturi?"

"Who?" He sounded confused and shook his head.

This was sure to be a frustrating process if he continued his one syllable answers. "Other vampire?"

Silence.

I gasped.

_Him._

My chest constricted. My arms wrapped around my stomach, my automatic reaction to _him_.

I turned toward the door. I wasn't sure what to do. This would have been my dream come true. Everything I was waiting for. But I couldn't move any further

I didn't have to turn around to know he was behind me. I felt his heat radiating off of him, silently begging me to stay.

"Edward?" I breathed out, trying to shake off the initial shock. It hurt to finally say his name.

"Bella…" I heard the worry in his voice. He didn't know how to react either.

I was in pain, but it was just a minor ache compared to before. The shock subsided a little, and I was waiting for the excruciating pain, waiting for my feet to move, to run to him, waiting. But I didn't. All that I felt was frustration, a twinge of regret, and utter confusion. As soon as I did what Edward wanted, to move on without him, here he is.

We both stood there. For many excruciating moments.

But Jacob was still here. Right next to me. Whenever I needed him, right here. But not Edward. My stomach was aching more, and I turned to the one thing that made it better.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me. I felt him let out a breath that he was holding. I wanted to hide in his arms. I still wasn't sure what to do. Edward was back. What happened now? Although the excruciating pain wasn't there, a huge knot in my stomach took hold. Was he here to stay? Why was he here?

"Why?" I managed to say, a lump forming in my throat.

"Why else? He wants to see you. But it won't happen." He said, looking out the window.

Could I face him? He came for me… but why? Did he want me back? Could I ever forgive him? Did I want to forgive him? My breathing picked up as it too often happens. I just started moving on, beginning to forget. Why did he have to come back now?

I fought tears as I pulled away from Jacob and started looking around, running my fingers through my hair. I couldn't just stay here and do nothing. I needed to do something. Anything. I didn't want to cry over him any more. I had to get away. "We have to go to La Push."

Jacob looked confused with my sudden panicked movement. "Bella, what about your dad?"

I grabbed my duffle bag and started grabbing clothes. "I don't know. I just can't do this right now." My hands shook as I was trying to close the bag.

"You don't have to. He won't come near you." He pulled the duffle bag across my bed, out of reach.

"But he's right out there!" I pointed out the window. My eyes followed my finger to look out the window. For him. He was right there like all those wonderful nights.

All of my emotions were battling each other. Yearning, anger, sadness, uncertainty, and worst of all, hope. For the past with Edward to become the present again.

But one feeling prevailed over the others. The desperate need to escape this awful, unwanted change. I was so tired of crying over him. I grabbed the bag back from him. "I'm going." I said, my voice breaking.

"You can't stay there forever." He said standing in front of me and gently grabbing my arms. "Charlie would never let you." His hands went down my arms and took the bag from me. I didn't hear anything else he had to say. "We have this under control. Trust me."

It didn't feel right. After all those times he was out in the woods and snuck in through the window. It didn't feel right that he didn't come in. Nothing felt right about this. I wanted to get out. I headed for the door again, giving up on my bag.

He almost automatically wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to his chest. I still tried to keep walking, pushing on his arms, but he just held tighter.

"Don't Bella."

I kept trying to move, trying to fight him off and failing miserably.

"I don't want to lose you Bella." He growled urgently in my ear. He turned me around to face him. He was trying to fight his own emotions. "I won't lose you. Not to him. Not after what he did to you." He grabbed my face with his hands and made me look straight into his eyes. "I love you too much to let that happen."

My eyes went wide as his intensely looked into mine.

I slowly processed what he said, wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. I should be excited. My boyfriend said he loved me. But this just made me all the more confused. Edward was still out there, determined to see me.

But Jacob was right here. Holding me up. Not Edward.

And that, I told myself, was all that mattered.

"I love you." I whispered.

And right then and there I silently promised Jacob I would never hurt him the way that Edward hurt me.


End file.
